Tomorrow My Irish Twins Turn 4 And 5

Kathleen and Sarah were born on the same day a year apart.
Tomorrow they have their birthday.
It has been a year of enormous growth for Kathleen.
A number of her Autistic symptoms have indeed disappeared to be replaced by a greater socialization skill and more of an awareness of her surroundings and the people in it.
Not merely as useful tools for things that she cannot get herself but as people that she enjoys interacting with.

Kathleen was a normal child, can't say anything much grabbed my attention in her 1st year except that she was a decent sized child and when she crawled, she crawled like a frog.
I believe that her Autism developed when she was between 14 and 16 mths.
At that time she started screaming.
She screamed a lot. Incessant, ear splitting screams that just made you want to cry.
She wouldn't be held, she would fight you when you changed her.
She just curled up in a corner and screamed.

This went on for months.

By the time she was about 2.5 she lessened her screaming to outbursts. Usually late at night, or early in the morning. I waited for the sheriff to come by and tell us that the neighbours had reported the child screaming but he never came, to my great relief.
I had absolutely no control over it, it was a symptom of her Autism and just like Nathan screaming in the past when he entered a new building, it had to be borne.

Sure didn't make me feel any better about it. She would launch into these screaming sessions during the day when we tried to take her out.
Not many people understood Autism and I guess by the looks we got, that they thought we were incompetent parents with a very badly behaving child.
The amount of times that we left family restaurants like Denny's, MacDonalds or similar are too numerous to mention so finally, we stopped taking the kids out.

As her screaming reduced slightly so did her behaviour. She would spend most of her time downstairs in the basement, often climbing into the ashpit to retreive pieces of wood, glass or metal.
Kathleen has PICA which basically means that she eats all kinds of stuff. We blocked that ashpit off with cinderblocks, wood, boxes but she always found a way to get it moved and get in there.
We were vigilant with removing anything that she could possibly eat that could cause her harm. Just the thought of an Autistic child in the hospital with a lacerated oesophagus was enough incentive.

We tried desperately to reach her, touching her on the head or the shoulder as she walked by to attempt to desensitize her.
Finally she would come over sometimes and back up onto my lap and I thought we were making real progress. I learned later that this is an Autistic tendency to use people as a piece of furniture and she backed up with no more regard to me than if I was a chair.

At this time I would attempt to cuddle her. One evening I thought that I was making progress when she came running over to me as I sat on the couch and I welcomed her with open arms. She pulled my head towards her and as I felt her mouth on my cheek I was ecstatic. I thought that she was finally going to kiss me.
The pain exploded in my head as she sunk her teeth into my cheek, gouging out a piece of skin. I still have the indentation.
I burst into tears, not only did my cheek really hurt but I was so overwhelmed by hopelessness.
What if I never reached her.

I think the turning point for Katy came when we moved down to OK in the winter of 2006 for 6 mths.
There, she started to progress. Her screaming started to reduce once again.
I was able to be home more. I worked five twelve hour night shifts a week but I was home more as the two hospitals that I worked at weren't that far away.
And, even if I slept for a few hours during the day, the children always had access to me when they needed me.
They also spent a lot of time outside as the winter in OK is mild at it's worst.

When we came back in July of that same year, she was already developing more social skills and would look at people who came over rather than spending all her time downstairs.
Another major difference ocurred when we got back from Ok, I refused to go back to work, so Paul after a lot of carrying on, went out and got a job.

Kathleen continued to improve slowly with her social skills but she was still screaming a lot more than I would have liked.
When Paul wasn't working and was at home, Katy would come out to the kitchen in the morning and start screaming and wailing.
This went on for quite some time.

After Paul was incarcerated in I think August, within a couple of days, Katy stopped doing it.
She does scream occasionally now, when she is frustrated over a lack of communication or when something doesn't go her way but it is not nearly as often.

Today I heard her screaming out in the yard and went to see what the problem was.
We have a large lab/retriever. She is a good 85lbs with a wonderful nature.
Kathleen was trying to ride this dog. She would lead her over to a place where she could climb on her back and then as soon as she managed to get up there, the dog would sit down and it would start all over again. It was quite funny to watch, but, I don't believe Katy found it quite as amusing.

Over the last 3 months, she is throwing out a few more words, she is humming or using her own babble to sing, she kisses people, she loves to be hugged and carried, she can sit in the Dairy Queen and eat a meal without displaying any Autism signs, she loves to go to the park, her comprehension appears to be increasing and she has allowed us to put nailpolish on her 2 x this week, the second time actually soliciting it.

She is doing absolutely beautifully and I have great hopes for her future.

Happy Birthday to my little girls, you both make me so proud to be your mum.
Later